16 Days of Activism Against Sexual Violence

1. Believe survivors

We live in a society that is not set up to support survivors of sexual violence. When survivors speak about their experiences, often the first reaction they receive is disbelief, along with the expectation that they should provide evidence to prove that their experiences are real and valid. We see it in so many cases where survivors are vilified and the media goes to extreme lengths to make people believe that they deserved it, that their clothes or actions equate to “asking for it”. Rape culture needs to be eradicated. We want to see a society where all the energy that’s currently being used to undermine and attack survivors when they speak out for justice is redirected towards supporting them, making sure they feel safe and providing just punishment towards the perpetrators of violence. The first thing YOU can do is believe survivors. It can help to validate their experiences, help them feel less alone, help them feel supported, and can help to change the systems that need to adapt to support them.

Check out Honey Org here and here - a platform for survivors which shares stories, messages of hope and more.

2. Ask for enthusiastic consent

ALWAYS ask for consent. Consent should be freely-given, retractable, informed, enthusiastic and specific (FRIES).

Freely-given

Consent given before engaging in sexual activity should be freely-given, without pressure or coercion. Reflect and consider that even though you might not feel you’re pressuring someone into doing something, there may be power dynamics at play which mean they do feel pressured. If there are, try and give some of your power to them. Empower them to make their own choices whilst ensuring that consent is truly freely-given.

Retractable

The thing about consent is it can always be taken back. It’s okay to consent to something, begin doing it and then realise you’re not actually comfortable and retract your consent. Make sure you feel safe and empowered to do so, create an environment where your partner(s) feel safe to say “no” if they need.

Informed

Informed consent means that the people giving and receiving consent both understand the situation well. Make sure you and your partner(s) are informed of what you both expect, desire and plan to do. Be upfront, honest & communicate well!

Enthusiastic

Make sure you have enthusiastic consent before you engage in any physical or sexual activity with someone else. This means verbal confirmation, and body language which shows enthusiasm! Being with someone who’s enjoying whatever it is that you’re doing together is HOT!

Specific

In order to be informed, consent should be specific. This can be as simple as: “Can I kiss you?” or “Would you like me to touch you here?”. Make it sexy and make sure your partner knows what’s going on and is consenting to everything, every step of the way.

3. Shut down sexist remarks

If you hear someone make a sexist comment or “joke”, shut it down. The normalisation of these kinds of comments supports gender inequality, which in turn, drives violence against women. Use your power & privilege to let people know that this behaviour isn’t okay. One of our favourite ways to do this is to ask the person to explain what they meant.

Further reading here.

4. Be inclusive of gender-diverse folk

Gender-diverse folk are often left out of conversations around sexual violence in this space and there is a lack of research in this space. This isn’t acceptable. We need to do the work to not only include gender-diverse folk but empower them by passing the mic, clearing some space and sharing power and privilege.

5. Think before you speak about these issues, chances are you’re around a survivor

1 in 3 women have experienced sexual violence in their lifetime*. If you’re speaking about sexual violence with a group of people, chances are at least one of them is a survivor. Think before you speak about these issues and consider how you would feel having these conversations if you were a survivor yourself. Be thoughtful, tread carefully and allow space for people to feel supported.

*2016 Personal Safety Survey (ABS, 2017)

6. Engage with, and consume content from, diverse perspectives

One of the best ways to understand an issue is to hear from multiple perspectives that are diverse and have an intersectional approach. If you’re reading about sexual violence, read authors who aren’t white or male. Same goes for everything you’re consuming, from TV shows to podcasts, to art. Educate yourself whilst supporting diverse perspectives.

• Me Too Movement, founded in 2006 by Tarana Burke, to help survivors of sexual violence, particularly Black women and girls, and other young women of color from low wealth communities, find pathways to healing.
• Professionals Against Violence Podcast (PAVE) is a professional podcast where international experts share their expertise, findings, and tips on how they’re working to end violence against women and children.
• The NSVRC has a variety of podcasts series on prevention and shared stories related to sexual violence.
• This article, Strong Black Women and the Me Too Movement, by Eugenia Flynn, in collaboration with Robyn Liddle.
• Documentaries The Invisible War (2012) and The Hunting Ground (2015), and the Netflix series, Unbelievable (2019), among others
• The web series, her words, shares the stories of four sexual assault survivors here
• The work of Rachel Cargle, Nina Funnell, Jax Jacki Brown, among other activists
• Books such as Hunger by Roxane Gay, Eggshell Skull by Brie Lee, She Said by Jodi Kantor & Megan Twohey, among others

7. Be critical and reflective in your thoughts

As you’re learning more about these issues, and applying a gender and intersectional lens to things, be reflective. Challenge your thoughts, challenge your stereotypes and challenge your bias. Learn what kind of privilege and power you hold. Learn how you can use it to dismantle systems of oppression. Learn how you can support those with less power than you.

8. Practise saying and hearing “no”

A huge part of the conversation around consent and sexual violence is “no”. Women are conditioned to feel uncomfortable saying it, and men are conditioned to ignore it. So many messages in society uphold these harmful ideas: from men in films “persisting” (harassing) with their love interest who goes from being absolutely repulsed by them to falling in love; to young girls who are told that boys who hurt them or bully them have a crush on them and to accept it politely and without a fuss. As a woman, it’s an act of political activism to say “no”. So do it more! Say no to the things you don’t want to do, say no just because you can. Say no whenever you want to, so you can say no when you need to. And for men, get used to being told “no”, especially by women. “No” is a complete sentence, not an invitation for persistence or persuasion. “No” is someone exercising their rights and is an opportunity for you to unlearn the entitlement you’ve been conditioned to have. “No” is perfectly acceptable for someone to say to you, so get comfortable with it.

9. Support systems that support survivors

So many of our ‘justice’ and ‘support’ systems are set up in a way that is retraumatising, dehumanising and debilitating for survivors. We need to prioritise the safety and support of survivors and humanise these systems. We’ve put together a starting point list of organisations and services that support survivors of sexual violence – supporting them means supporting survivors.

• Centre Against Sexual Assault (CASA) is the peak body of the 15 Centres Against Sexual Assault, and the Victorian Sexual Assault Crisis Line (after hours). They work to ensure that women, children and men who are victim/survivors of sexual assault have access to comprehensive and timely support and intervention to address their needs.
• 1800 Respect - the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service.
• Fair Agenda, an independent community campaigning organisation driving change that promotes fairness and equality for women.

10. Get rid of the notion that there is a “grey area” in consent

Despite what we are taught, there is no “grey area” in consent. Consent needs to be enthusiastic, freely-given, retractable, specific and informed otherwise you do not have consent. The myth that there is a grey area allows for a culture which doesn’t believe survivors and supports perpetrators with a safety net of ambiguity. Realistically, it is very simple to have consent before engaging in sexual activity of any kind. If you’re in a situation where you’re not sure if you have consent, even if you think it might be implied, ASK!

11. Educate yourself and share that knowledge with others

This is a great opportunity to learn more about the issue of sexual violence, its causes and the devastating impact it can have. We’ve put together a list of some sources as a starting point if you’re unsure where to begin. Sharing the knowledge you’ve learned with others is a wonderful way to create change and an easy way to be an activist. Share articles, books and podcasts with your friends!

• The National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVPC) has valuable information about SVA, blogs, podcast and recommendations. Is a good place to educate yourself.
• ReachOut.com is a Australian website with articles, forums, tools and apps tailored for young people, parents and schools.
• RAINN has useful information from Tips for survivors in consuming media to trainings to help prepare survivors to share their stories.
• The COFEM Feminist Pocketbook is a resource to support practitioners, researchers and others working in humanitarian and development settings to articulate and implement feminist-informed approaches to addressing VAWG, also referred to as gender-based violence (GBV). The goal of the Pocketbook is to empower practitioners, researchers and activists to help their colleagues, organisations and other stakeholders improve advocacy, policy and programming efforts by promoting a common theoretical ground for shared understanding and action.
• End Rape on Campus works to end campus sexual violence through direct support for survivors and their communities; prevention through education; and policy reform at the campus, local, state, and federal levels.
• What Works to Prevent Sexual Violence Against Children - an evidence review that considers strategies focused on the prevention of sexual violence specifically. It identifies effective programs that can help prevent sexual violence against children, from school-based programs to community mobilisation efforts, and acts as a resource for policymakers, advocates, program officers and more, to understand what works to prevent sexual violence in childhood and adolescence.

12. Ask women & gender-diverse folk if they’re okay

If you witness a situation where a woman or gender-diverse person looks uncomfortable or unsafe, step in and ask if they’re okay. It might be a simple act but it can let them know they’re safe & supported and gives that person an option to express discomfort or get out of an unsafe situation. This is extremely important in public spaces like public transport, where women & gender-diverse folk often experience harassment. Step in & step up.

13. Lobby for better laws to protect survivors

It’s incredibly difficult for survivors of sexual violence to find justice in court systems that presume the innocence of perpetrators. Furthermore, speaking out can come at a great cost with survivors being labelled liars, amongst other things. Not only do we need to support and believe survivors, but we also need to lobby for better laws to protect them. According to the latest ABS Personal Safety Survey, 9 out of 10 women who experienced sexual assault by a male did not contact the police about the most recent incident.* Our court system and legal procedures in cases of sexual violence need to be reexamined. It takes a lot of courage to report sexual violence and services at every step of the process need to be adequately trained to support survivors. We need to listen to survivors to understand how law reforms can better support their needs and they should have access to legal, advocacy and psychological support throughout the process. We recommend reading up on the stats and laws surrounding sexual violence. Brie Lee’s book, Eggshell Skull, is a great place to start and check out the #LetHerSpeak campaign for law reform for sexual assault survivors lead by End Rape on Campus Australia** and Marque Lawyers.

*2016 Personal Safety Survey (ABS, 2017)
**http://www.endrapeoncampusau.org/

14. Donate to response & prevention services

Put your money where your activism is. Donate to support services which support survivors, and support grassroots groups on the front lines. It’s important to donate not only to response services, but also prevention services – we want to end violence against women and girls, so that one day we get to a point where there are no more survivors that need support & response services! We’ve put together a starting list for your perusal.

• Tangentyere Family Violence Prevention Program - a grassroots group working in early intervention and primary prevention of family and domestic violence in Alice Springs, NT
• ReachOut.com in Australia provides specially targeted information to help any young person who visits the service.
• RAINN is a US anti-sexual violence organisation helping survivors and educating the people about sexual assaults.
• RCNE is the network of European centres which support survivors of sexual violence.

15. Acknowledge privilege in conversations about sexual violence

Privilege is a bit of a buzzword and can be difficult for some people to talk about. But if we unpack it a little further, it’s a simple concept and a conversation that we all need to be having with ourselves and those around us. There are many kinds of privilege that you may have that intersect and overlap. This may be your financial background, education, whiteness, gender, sexuality, etc. What the concept of privilege means is that you have an unearned advantage in comparison to others, based on prejudice. It is not about how difficult or easy your life has been, but what kinds of things have come unearned to you simply because you are, for example, able-bodied or heterosexual, or because you’ve got a university degree. A great article which explains this concept well can be read here. When we have conversations about sexual violence, we need to acknowledge our privilege. We need to prioritise the safety and support of survivors with less privilege and centre voices, prevention programs, response services, and activism which do the same.

16. Stop saying ‘not all men’ – it’s not useful

This action isn’t new but it’s worth repeating: stop saying ‘not all men’ and instead start interrogating why you feel the need to automatically respond with those words. When we talk about sexual violence and gender-based violence, the focus should be on supporting survivors, not on managing your ego. When you have the opportunity to learn from someone’s experience, stop and listen. If you feel uncomfortable, consider why. If your automatic response is to get defensive, again, reflect on why that is. We all have work to do to end sexual violence and advance equality. When you respond with, ‘not all men’, it derails the conversation to become about managing your discomfort while also silencing, and invalidating, issues of sexual violence and gender inequality. Stop saying it. Start questioning it.

17. Learn about the root causes of sexual gender-based violence

There are many diverse forms of sexual violence*, from reproductive coercion to technology-based abuse. Below is a resource that lists the different types and explains what they are. When we have conversations about sexual violence, it’s important to understand not only what the issue is and how this issue affects people, but what its root causes are. Sexual violence is often driven by deeply held ideas, attitudes and norms about women and gender diverse folk, their role in society and relationships between men and women. For example, ideas that condone men’s violence against women, such as the idea that it’s ok for men to use violence in some contexts, or that they can’t be held responsible for some violence, or that some forms of violence, such as sexual harassment, are not serious**. We need to address attitudes, stereotypes and norms about gender roles and relationships, and acknowledge how privilege, power and inequality can drive gender-based violence, including sexual violence.

• The term "sexual violence" is an all-encompassing, non-legal term that refers to crimes like sexual assault, rape, and sexual abuse. Some of these crimes are:

1. Sexual assault
2. Child sexual abuse
3. Sexual assault of men and boys
4. Intimate partner sexual violence
5. Incest
6. Drug-facilitated sexual assault
7. Reproductive coercion
8. Technological-based abuse

• For more information about types of sexual violence, visit here and here.

**ourwatch.org.au/Preventing-Violence/Women

18. Support sex workers

Sex work and sex workers cannot be left out of the discussion around sexual violence. There is still limited research on sex workers’ experiences of sexual assault, particularly in a workplace context, but also outside of work contexts. Where sex work is criminalised, sex workers can face retribution for reporting sexual violence. At the same time, sex workers face stigma surrounding their profession. We must acknowledge the privilege and difference in experiences for sex workers who have chosen their profession by real choice; and those who have found themselves entering it having no other choice. We must also separate the sex work industry from sex trafficking & sexual exploitation, which are often conflated. The best way to keep sex workers safe is to support them, decriminalise sex work and destigmatise the industry. Sex workers who experience violence need the same access to health, support and legal services as people outside of the industry. In Australia, the Scarlet Alliance is a great resource advocating for the rights of sex workers which also lists research for further education. Sex work is real work and sex workers require protection whilst doing their job, just as anyone else.

• Scarlet Alliance, Australia’s peak, national sex worker organisation.
• Victoria’s only peer-run sex worker organisation, Vixen Collective promotes the cultural, legal, human, occupational and civil rights of all sex workers.
• Resourcing health & Education (RhED) is a service for the sex industry in Victoria. The service provides site based and outreach services in collaboration with relevant programs and agencies.
• Sex Workers Outreach Project-USA is dedicated to ensure the rights of people involved in the sex trade and their communities, focusing on ending violence and stigma through education and advocacy.
• Project Respect’s supports women in the sex industry and women trafficked and advocate for the structural change needed to end all forms of sexual exploitation.
• This article by Dr Antonia Quadera, Sex workers and sexual assault in Australia: Prevalence, risk and safety.

19. Debunk common myths around sexual violence and learn the facts

There are so many harmful myths that surround sexual violence, which perpetuate a culture in which survivors are not believed but rather blamed, and left unsupported. A great step towards ending sexual violence is to debunk these myths and learn the true facts. Take a look at this resource by Healthy WA as a starting point.

20. Don’t expect survivors to do all the emotional labour

Sexual violence affects everyone in one form or another – whether you’ve experienced it yourself or its effects have impacted a friend of yours and thereby the relationship you have with them. It’s on all of us to do the work to end it. Share the load by educating yourself, taking action and supporting survivors.

Further reading here.

1. Prioritise your self-care

Prioritise your self-care and check-in with yourself often. Sharing your story and educating others on your experiences is emotionally intensive work. You don’t owe this to anyone. The most important thing is that you’re prioritising your wellbeing. Seek out the activities, people and things that make you feel safe, supported and good. Understand what helps you feel grounded and centred and, in times of particular stress, turn to this. It might be talking to a friend, practising deep breathing or meditating, going for a walk, listening to some music, spending time in nature… whatever it is, prioritise your self-care first and foremost.

2. Learn about the different responses people have to trauma

There’s no one way to respond to and deal with trauma. All responses are valid and can take on many different forms at different stages and different times. This could include confusion, numbness, sadness, anxiety, exhaustion and others. Responses can be emotional, mental, behavioural and physical. If you’re a survivor of sexual violence or dealing with trauma, seek professional help. Reach out to 1800 Respect or find a list of state-based support services here.

Find out more about trauma and different responses to trauma here.

3. Set boundaries

When it comes to practising self-care, an important part of that can be setting boundaries. Those boundaries can take the form of whatever is helpful for you. For example, you might set boundaries to disconnect from online platforms and disengage with media during times of triggering public news and events. You don’t have to engage in conversations or situations that are triggering. Practise agency. Remember that you don’t owe anybody your story. You get to decide what to share with others and how you share, if you decide to. It’s not your job to educate others. Set the boundaries you need to support yourself day in and out. Prioritise your healing and put yourself first.

1. Give women space, especially at night

Be aware of the space that you take up and how that might affect women & gender-diverse folk. Most women are constantly aware of themselves and their surroundings and are especially hyper-vigilant at night, trying to keep themselves safe. Something as simple as crossing the road to give a woman space as you both walk down a dimly-lit street at night is an action that makes women feel safer. Put yourself in their shoes and try to make yourself as unthreatening as possible. It’s not personal, but it shouldn’t be up to women to keep themselves safe – it’s on you as well.

2. Listen to women & gender-diverse folk

It’s absolutely vital in conversations around sexual violence that we LISTEN to survivors and women & gender-diverse folk when they talk about their experiences. The simplest act of support is to step back, pass the mic and listen. And while you’re doing so, remember to truly listen – don’t listen to respond. Be aware of how you listen to others and work to be truly present, instead of focusing on what you’ll say next.

3. Engage other men in conversations about sex & consent

It’s on all of us to normalise conversations about sex and consent, but especially amongst and between men. The more we talk about what consent, healthy relationships and sexy, consensual sex looks like, the more it becomes commonplace and the societal standard. So men, talk to your mates!

Unfortunately for many schools & education curriculums, sex education is at best, lacking, and at worst, problematic and harmful. An integral part of empowerment and change is education. It’s time to not only educate students on sexual health but also on consent and pleasure. We need to teach young adults what consensual, enjoyable, healthy sex looks like! Here’s a list of some resources available for schools, universities and individuals.

• Respectful Relationships, tools and resources to support respectful relationships education in primary and secondary schools.
• The Hunting Ground(Australia and US), Action Toolkits to empower key audiences, including students, parents, alumni, faculty, advisors and administrators, to take action to combat sexual violence in Australian universities.
• Speak about it is an USA NGO that promotes awareness of healthy sexual choices, advocate consent, and strives to prevent sexual violence through inclusive performance-based education, discussion facilitation, and provision of resources.
• Minus 18 is Australia’s youth-driven network for LGBTIQ youth. Visit their site for articles, community events, resources, training, information and more.
• Rosie is an Australian, national harm prevention initiative by the Dugdale Trust for Women & Girls. Rosie is an info hub for teens that’s chock full of articles, videos and blogs all about respect. Rosie in the Classroom is an extension of educational modules to help teachers talk about topics like sexting, mental health, respectful relationships, and more.

2. Be inclusive of gender-diverse folk & the spectrum of sexualities

When teaching sexual health, consent and pleasure, it’s important to be inclusive and intersectional. If we approach these issues from a place of understanding all folks of diverse genders and sexualities, we support, educate and empower ALL people. Sex ed is for everyone, and it’s important that everyone is equipped with the knowledge and tools necessary to navigate their sexuality in a healthy way. This needs to include people with disabilities and people of all religions! The best way to give people choice is to educate them.

3. Provide counselling and resources for survivors

Survivors need support. One way for schools and universities to provide support is in the form of counselling and a student portal. Students need somewhere safe to access resources and receive the counselling and support they require, especially if they come from a background where they may have nowhere else to access this. Support services at schools and universities also need to be trained to adequately and sensitively respond to the needs of survivors. School and universities should create a culture that supports survivors in coming forward and implement clear policies and plans to respond to reports of sexual violence.

Further reading here.

4. Promote healthy & respectful relationships from an early age

Evidence suggests that the promotion of healthy & respectful relationships is one way to tackle the issue of gender-based violence, including sexual violence. If promoted from an early age, this can educate and empower young people to treat others with respect and be treated equally, which can reduce rates of violence.